Transitioning later in life is kinda weird. It's like you got an all-access pass to an exclusive party, but you're not sure if you wanna go because you feel you may have already missed your fave song, you're not sure if you have the right outfit, and you don't know if your friends are coming with you and who wants to go to a party without friends amiright?
Ok, bad analogy aside that is sort of how it feels. While I am of the opinion that accepting the fact that you're transgender is hard. I think taking the steps to do something about it are even harder...especially when you're older. Now I know people may not agree because they're like you're older, you know yourself/are more sure of yourself, have a more stable life, you're more likely to understand the consequences if you decide this isn't actually for you, and the list goes on. However, I think many people forget the other side of things. While transitioning is never truly "easy" i do feel it's easier when you're already in flux (i.e. during puberty, around formative teenage years, etc.) Than if you've created this "content", stable life which you're essentially up ending by coming out and subsequently transitioning.
There's sure to be some sort of imposter syndrome to arise. For those who aren't familiar imposter syndrome is when you feel like a phony. Which makes sense to have if you transition later in life. Like most people you tend to have thoughts like "if I've lived life as a "woman" for [x] amount of years how do I know if I'm a real man?" To which I say if you feel it in your bones. You're a man.
We also need to have strong support systems. Whether you're old or young transitioning isn't easy in any way, but definitely if you're gonna disrupt a life that you've meticulously built after years & decades you definitely want people in your corner.
Family whether they're the one God (or whoever you do or don't believe in) gave you or the one you created are the best people to go to for support. They're usually gonna be your beacons of light and hope when the world around you wants to tear you down.
Some people would probably say you need to build a thick skin. Which is absolutely true, but it's also something that takes time to build. While being black should have created some type of thick skin, it's scary being black and trans later in life, especially if you were born in the 90s and earlier. It's like we're fighting everything we know and were taught.
We have to be true to ourselves though. If you feel it in your heart that this is the right path no matter what then you have to take the chance.
I suggest everyone gets an LGBT+ friendly care team (PCP, Therapist, Endo to name a few) if they can (I understand that's not feasible for everyone), definitely seek community (check out our space!), practice self-love (this road is gonna be even more difficult if you cannot love, accept, understand, empathize, and treat yourself right).
Transitioning later in life you have less time to really work out the kinks. How do you dap up correctly? How should you dress? Can I still interact with females the same way? Will they see me as a gay man (if you're straight)? Do I have to pretend to be straight to make these guys feel comfortable (if you're gay)? Some of these things we've already learned along the way in life, but it'll be slightly different now being seen as a man in the world vs being seen as a woman in the world.
Above all you really have to trust in yourself. As black men life has the potential to become scary, especially for black american men. We're so often seen as public enemy number 1. I know that's hurtful to come to terms with, however if you believe in yourself you'll make it through just fine. Remember we're all works in progress. The only time you aren't progressing is when you're dead.
-Alexander